Question of the Day: In a long distance relationship, what are some good strategies for making it work?

You hear many gripes from people claiming that long distance relationship's don't work.  The truth is, LDR's aren't for everyone; however, I have seen my fair share of lengthy and successful ones.  I'm not sure I've personally ever been cut out for one myself, but then again, so long as I have a lot of reassurance, honesty and communication from my significant other, who knows?  Anything's possible...

Question of the Day: Have you ever heard the term "Lubber?" Bonus point if you can name its origin and what happens to you when you don't get one?

Oh it's a whole new world for me.  I just learned a new term today:  "Lubber."  If you can tell me where it comes from and what happens to you if you don't plan ahead and get one...heck, I'll buy ya a case!!!

Question of the Day: Would you rather have a partner with passion, intensity and incredible sex but constant fighting and upheaval or a steady, peaceful relationship with lack of sexual compatibility?

Volatility and upheaval coupled with amazing, intense sex tend to go hand in hand in many relationships.  You know them well, and perhaps have been in a few of 'em yourself.  These on and off couples bicker, fight, and break-up to make up.  It's like some sick obsession with drama and sex.  I'll admit it, I've been in one or two of them myself and can vividly recall all the tortorous mixed feelings of seduction, intoxication and powelessness.

Hell, take Rihanna and Eminem's new video "Love the Way You Lie" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U) for instance.  It stars two insanely beautiful people (Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan) where one minute they're beating the crap out of each other and the next going at it like two dogs in heat.  Seriously?  We're now so desensitized to these couplings we're unapologetically glamorizing domestic violence in #1 rated music videos? 

Sorry, I digress... 

I personally believe these options are not mutually exclusive and that it is possible to have a steady, peaceful, healthy relationship with a wonderful sex life.  It's all about two self respecting individuals coming together and embracing happiness, trust, stability and compromise.  I'll say it again, it's pretty simple, happiness is a choice!

Question of the Day: Who do you think lies more about their age, men or women?

I really have no idea on this one.  Totally stumped.  Most men I've dated that didn't want to divulge their age, just either wouldn't tell me or would say, "I'm in my late 40's" (ie. "I'm in my mid-50's.")  Honestly, when people are wishy washy and dance around the "age" topic, to me it just shows they're trying to hide how old they really are.  And then, in fact, I'll probably assume they're actually older than their age.

I personally have never lied about my age.  I'm 40 and proud dammit!  But sometimes I do wonder if, as the clock ticks, I'll change my overt ways?  Do more people lie as they get older?  Or are the guilty fibbers those that are on the cusp of a milestone (ie. 29) and fighting to salvage their youth?  I wonder with the ever-increasing popularity of plastic surgery and injection procedures, are more people prone to knocking off a few years on their drivers licenses as a result?  These days, you really have to wonder!

Question of the Day: Do you feel your dates usually push for sex too soon after meeting?

Surprisingly, I tend to hear this complaint just as often from men as from women!  Wellllllllll...okay, but some men are caring gentlemen out there that do gripe about this scenario!  I guess you reach a certain age when you're past trying to go out and just "hook up" and you want to really get to know a person before becoming intimate.  But let's face it, there are as many opinions and rules of thumb on this topic as there are sex positions! 

I'm personally not a big believer in starting out a relationship in a sexual manner, because I think it really does get in the way of truly getting to know a person.  It shifts the relationship to that of a sexual one and at that point the sex becomes the focus.  If the relationship lasts long enough, you can get to the point where there is a balance between your sexual relationship and time spent together outside of the bedroom.  However, you increase your odds of it becoming a lasting relationship when you take some time to learn about each other before becoming physical.  

I certainly have had my share of dates where I end up feeling like a defensive back pushing the dude off of me so that I can come up for air and, uh, protect my end zone!  I'll never forget the time when I was on a second date with a guy who literally pouted and got angry with me when I wouldn't relent to his advances.  I was shocked and asked, "What is this?  High school?"  Later he called me admitting he felt foolish and came to his senses once his...er...senses adjusted. I reminded him that he wouldn't want for me to have sex with him out of obligation and that intimacy is so much better and more fulfilling when both parties are wanting it.

I have to say, that was a pivotal moment for not only him, but for myself.  I realized that having sex under pressure has never led anywhere good in my past and that if someone isn't going to tolerate me being true to myself, then they don't really care about me as a person or getting to know me better.  And that's a deal breaker!

Question of the Day: What is the biggest relationship challenge you've faced? How did you get through it?

Oh boy, if I had a dollar for every relationship challenge I've heard, I'd be a RICH woman.  Personally, the biggest obstacle I faced was in my marriage, but to protect his privacy, I won't divulge the details.  Obviously, we handled it by divorcing, as sometimes relationship upheavals just can't be worked out by staying together.  Sometimes letting go and moving on is the only option.  Ideal no, but necessary in some situations, yes.

I'm always impressed by couples who find a way to change together and allow their relationships to morph into new identities as different circumstances arise.  Call me naive, but I still believe in everlasting love and the theory that no problem is too big that it cannot be solved with love!  I know, I know...just call me Pollyanna!

Question of the Day: Tonight's the NIGHT! Do you think "Bachelorette" Ali should pick Chris or Roberto?

So will it be Roberto, the hard-bodied insurance agent from Charleston, South Carolina, or sexy and sensitive Massachusetts landscaper Chris L?  Oh decisions, decisions!  Life's rough for the beautiful San Fransisco based star of this season's "The Bachelorette" Ali Fedotowski.  Either way, she really can't go wrong as these guys are the real deal who have proven their loyalty, stamina and love for Ali throughout this controversial show.

Even though Roberto is undeniably hunk-o-licious (I mean, c'mon!  Did you see him in his baseball uniform on his hometown date?  SLURRP!) and attentive as the day is long, I can't help but have a preference for Chris L. to become Mr. Fedotowski.  He's not only dreamy with his soft spoken voice and all-American good looks, but he's calm, sweet, and completely head-over-heels in love with Ali.  On his hometown date with her, we got to see how his father doted on and adored Chris's late mother, and that's a really great sign for any woman!  

Anyhoo, the rumor mill has it that Ali opts to pick neither candidate and remain single.  If that ends up being the case, I know a certain matchmaker who would love the opportunity to have Ali's lovelorn leftovers in her hunky male database.  Shoot, she might even have to try 'em on for size herself!