No names here, but several people have crossed my path that were in marriages or long-term relationships only to discover that their mate was gay. I even have a friend whose husband was a cross-dresser which ultimately led to the demise of the union. I was talking with my girlfriend about this topic before I posted it and we were both mulling over whether we would actually feel better or worse knowing our significant other was having an affair with another man?
It's definitely a very convoluted situation replete with many tentacles and scenarios. Heck, I even know of couples who stay together and agree that its okay for the gay partner to have a relationship outside of the marriage. All grieving experiences are unique, but I think the process for the straight partner would take on a whole different challenge than a dual heterosexual split.
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