Friday, February 17, 2012
"By the way, if we're going to date, you should probably know..."
I was taping my show today, "The Kari Adams Show" (Princeton TV30) and got into a sobering discussion with my producer as I was addressing questions for the "Ask Kari" segment of my show. (This is the special episode that will air from time to time where I field dating and relationship questions submitted by single folks like you. So be sure to email me any questions you may have).
As I was addressing one of the questions about honesty when it comes to dating, he immediately stopped recording and said, "I have to tell you, this has happened to me twice now where I'm literally pulling up to my dates' house to drop them off after dinner and they say to me, "By the way, you should probably know, I'm still separated and not officially divorced yet. Don't you think this is something that should be brought up before our date?"
My answer, "Abso-freakin-lutely!" We owe it to the people we date to be open and honest about fundamental issues like these before agreeing to go out with them. It's only fair people! If you think you will get your date to fall head over heels in love with you before divulging something important like a significant change in your appearance since the photo they saw of you, your age, your current marital status or the 53 cats that you live with, think again!
Okay...for giggles and grins, let's just say they did happen to fall for you before knowing this information, it won't soon be long before that house of cards comes crashing down, ultimately casting a huge shadow of doubt on your integrity, principles and honesty that your lover would be hardpressed to overlook.
Isn't it easier just to tell the truth from the get-go? Put the ball in their court and if they decide they would like to continue dating you based on what you disclosed, then you can rest easy knowing you provided them with information that they needed to know and the playing field has been evened.
We all detest false advertising and feeling as though we were douped. Respect your dates, as well as yourself, enough to be on the up and up about who you are and the circumstances in which you find yourself. Because, if you haven't already found this out, dating karma is a bitch!