Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Best Gift: A precious Christmas themed music box my S.O. bought me. When he gave it to me, we were snuggled up in his car, drinking champagne (unbeknownst to my kids who were asleep inside) while it was snowing outside. He was telling me of the horrendous crowds out in the stores as he reached behind my seat and said, "But one of my highlights was when I saw this at it reminded me of you!" **Sigh!!** (...come to think of it, the Chanel bag he gave me on Christmas morning was nothing to shake a stick at either!!)
Worst Gift: The waffle iron that almost ended up boring a hole though our kitchen wall, when given to me on my 30th birthday by my ex husband!
Strangest Gift: The 6-inch platform stripper shoes my date brought to me to celebrate our first "official date." And people wonder why my cardinal rule is to never be the first date after the end of a marriage????
Monday, November 29, 2010
Happy Cyber Monday to all my techie single pals out there. So, did you know, the online dating craze began in April 2005 with the popular website Match.com? And supposedly as of this early this year, the site had more than 29 million singles registered in over 35 different countries? Yeouza! That's a whole lotta' lonely hearts surfin' the web!
So, what's your favorite online dating site? Why?
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Question of the Day: You've been seeing someone for 6 months now and they don't want to be "friends" with you on Facebook. Is this a problem?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Question of the Day: What was the craziest thing you've seen a date do, when they didn't suspect you were watching?
He claimed that last week, for the second time, she showed up at his door, unannounced with an overnight bag in hand. Mind you, this is not something he would normally turn away or be opposed to, but he said that he just wasn't really feelin' this woman, so her brazenness was quite off putting. To get through the night, he feigned accidentally falling asleep on the couch while watching T.V., leaving her to slumber upstairs alone in his bed.
In the morning, they each got in their cars and went their respective ways to work. When he was about 3 minutes into his commute, his phone rings and he looks at it to see that it was his neighbor. Thinking he accidentally left his garage door open or something, he quickly picks it up. His neighbor asked, "Who was that woman that just left your house?" With a little embarrassment he replied, "Oh, just some chick I'd been seeing that showed up uninvited last night for a sleepover. Why?"
"She just took your trash!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I'm serious. After you two both took off in your cars', she came back, parked in your driveway, opened your trash can, and took a bag of trash."
"Wait a minute! What? What are you saying?"
"Dude I'm serious. I just saw it three seconds ago. She took the top bag of trash, walked around to the back of her car, put it in there and took off"
The other guy and I were staring at him in total shock and disbelief. He said, "Yeah and what's worse is that I had just cleaned out the cat box, so this woman was now driving around in her Lexus SUV with dirty, smelly cat litter stinking it up!" When I asked him what it was he thought she was hoping to learn about him by ruffling through his trash, he admitted that he had no idea, but that he had to cancel all of his credit cards in case she was trying to steal his identity.
I suggested that most likely she was trying to see if he was dating anybody else or if there were other women in the picture, but he wasn't convinced that was the case because they'd only been on a couple of dates and she never acted jealous or inquisitive. Wow! Really strange stuff out there! Goes to show, you just really never know for sure what people are capable of when they suspect you aren't looking!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Question of the Day: Are you surprised when some of the most beautiful women in the world still get cheated on?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Question of the Day: "I live with my BF who doesn't ever want to get married. I pay him $1k in rent. How does this financially affect my future?"
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Question of the Day: Your BFF claims to be head-over-heels in love after dating someone for only a week. What is your initial reaction?
I confess, when she called me up deflated, admitting that Mr. Mountie and she were no longer an item because they simply had nothing in common, I felt a surge of self righteousness. Hey...I'm not proud, but at least I'm owning up to my shortcomings! I was disappointed and saddened for her that her hopes and dreams had been dashed; however, I was also hopeful she would learn from this experience and grow to be a bit more cautious with her heart in the future. And the next time she runs off to Club Med to meet handsome, romantic foreign men, she vows to take moi!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Question of the Day: If I asked you, "Do you have a Prince Albert?" would you know to what I was referring? What are your thoughts on this phenomenon?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Question of the Day: Not using looks, what are your top 5 qualities that make you a GREAT partner for someone?
I hold to the notion that looks are basically the number 1 priority for men when looking for a romantic partner. I've spoken to countless guys who've admitted that they have to get past the looks first. Yes, heart and personality are important, but they are not going to approach a woman in a bar who they aren't physically attracted to.
As visual creatures, men are pretty simple! Ladies, if you're single and lookin' for Mr. Right and you've let your looks slip, I highly suggest gettin' yourself back to the gym and embarking on a new healthy eating plan. Make sure you're keeping your physical appearance in its best possible condition by maintaining your hair, nails and skin. Oh, and while you're at it, if you haven't already done so, spend the extra money and get the more expensive Crest 3D White Strips. It's worth the $50 investment for pearly whites that are sure to knock off a good 10 years on your appearance!
This all said, is it unfortunate that our society is as caught up on looks and outward appearances, as it is? Absolutely! Do I support all the hype behind plastic surgery, fad diets and eat disorders so that women can fit into the ideal of what America says is "beautiful?" No way. However, looking and feeling your best should always remain top priority. Its a form of self love when you say to yourself, "I deserve to take care of my mind, body and spirit."
Whenever I'm feeling insecure or inadequate, I grab a piece of paper and immediately start writing a list of all of the characterstics that make me a great partner for someone. And I don't limit myself. I just listen to my internal compass and let the adjectives flow as I take this time to self reflect and acknowledge my positive attributes. If you've never done something like this, its an amazing and quick self help tool that is sure to put you back into good spirits.
If you think about it, most of us incessantly fill our mind's all day long with unserving, negative self talk. This exercise is a way to change those thoughts and to help plant the seeds of nourishment so that our thoughts can become healthy in order to get us in a better feeling place. And when you think and feel good, you attract more goodness into your life. No doubt once you're done and you look at your list, you'll be saying to yourself, "Damn! I'm a great catch! I'd go out with me!"
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Question of the Day: You're in the midst of a really bad break-up/divorce, but you were BOTH invited to a friends' special event. What do you do?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Question of the Day: How do you tell a friend/associate that they have unrealistic expectations in a mate?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Question of the Day: Guys, honestly, what does it mean when a woman you're seeing has to ask, "Where is this going?"
My personal feeling is this, ladies, if you have to ask, "Where is this going?" it means its going nowhere. I remember one time, back in my college days, I made the mistake of asking this guy I was seeing this very same question. We went out on dates, went to bars together with mutual friends, he slept over regularly, etc. So, when I foolishly asked him where this "relationship" was going, I got a slap in the face, kick in the gut, large can of whoop-ass opened on me reality check that dashed all my hopes of our happily ever romance! He responded with, "I don't want a girlfriend right now. We're in college and having fun. I want to keep my options open, so let's just keep this light and simple, okay?"
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Question of the Day: Do you believe the notion that it takes 6 mos. for every year together, to get over someone?
I usually don't subscribe to the practice of mathematical formulas applied when dealing with emotions or relationships, but I do think there is a hint of validity to this particular notion. However, I like to look at it more as a general rule of thumb and not a one-size-fits-all equation. Everybody grieves on their own timeframe, where some people take longer to get over a loved one than others.
As I tell my friends, members and clients, grief is always at 100% and you have to allow yourself the space to mourn your loss so that you can move on to healthier, happier relationships. How long it takes, is however long it takes. The best thing you can do for yourself is to sit in the pain, feel the feelings of loss and nurture yourself as you grieve. Denial will only prolong the process, but take comfort in the fact that this too shall pass!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Question of the Day: Your single, opposite sex BFF and you get along GREAT, but there is a tiny spark of chemistry. Do you go there?
I know so many people who have opposite sex friendships that, for one reason or another, don't ever cross over into romantic relationships. Take my one girlfriend out in California for example. We were at my sister's wedding, and she had invited her best guy friend as her date. Before he arrived, she was gushing on about him describing his good looks and fun personality.
I was perplexed and asked her why he was just a friend and how come they weren't actually dating? I mean, if someone is good enough to be on your arm at a wedding or function, aren't they mate material? She admitted that they always did have a level of chemistry, but that it just never "went there." I asked if she was afraid it would ruin the friendship and she replied, "No, not really. I don't know why but neither of us have really acted upon it. I would be interested and we talk about it sometimes, but it never seems to lead to anything."
I just find this baffling but I have a lot of friends in similar circumstances. Here you have this great friend, someone whose company you really enjoy being around, you find yourself attracted to them, but.....???? What's the problem?
I mean, I'm not suggesting we "settle" and just date our closest pal because, heck, there's no one else around at the present moment and they also enjoy shot-gunning cans of Bud and belching out loud while watching the Eagles game. But I do think single folks can be too picky at times and have the propensity to overlook what's standing right in front of them! Don't you want to be married to your best friend? And isn't it just a bonus that you're attracted to them as well? Go figure!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Question of the Day: Your new S.O. just admitted they're SEVERELY in debt. Do you consider this a sign of the times or a huge red flag?
Monday, November 1, 2010
I'm sure most of us can admit we've been the overly needy half in a past relationship or two. It happens. I'm not sure I believe that a needy mate can be reformed with their current partner because there is something, after all, about that person that is stimulating a specific response. However, I do think that over time, with some self reflection, analysis and possibly professional help, people can overcome their clingy tendencies with future companions.
No doubt, difficult circumstances and upheavals hit us up periodically throughout our lifetimes. How we relate to our friends, mates and family members is reflective of where our mental state and emotions are in reaction to these unfortunate events. When people experience trauma or stress, they often don't realize their vulnerability and end up clinging to their mate's in an illusive attempt to gain some control in their lives', where everything else feels so out of control. It takes some time, self awareness and an investment in oneself to reform their needy ways and to get on the path more independent. But, speaking as a reformed "cling-on," its definitely do-able!