Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Question of the Day: You've been seeing someone for 6 months now and they don't want to be "friends" with you on Facebook. Is this a problem?

I received this question in my inbox from a woman today. She would like some feedback as to what this situation means. She said that she's been seeing this gentleman that she really likes, for 6 months now. She friend requested him last week and he ignored it. When she mentioned it to him, he responded with surprise and said he wanted to move past the issue and continue on with the relationship without being friends on Facebook.
For me, this raises a red flag. As Dr. Phil states, "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing." If you're in a monogomous, romantic relationship where you continue to invest your feelings and trust in a person, nothing should be kept hidden from one another. This situation tells me that this man is keeping his significant other away from his Facebook profile because there are, most likely, some things on it he doesn't want her to see.
Like I tell my friends and associates, if something isn't feeling "right" in your relationship, it's bothering you for a reason. Further, how your partner reacts to your uneasy feelings about a topic is very telling. If they are dismissive, condescending, defensive or angry, perhaps its time to assess if your needs' are being met in this relationship and determine if its time to step away.

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