Tuesday, June 29, 2010

In honor of 4th of July, Princeton Elite Club is honoring its followers with a SMASHING giveaway prize!


In anticipation of the BIG firework celebration honoring our country's birth, Princeton Elite Club is offering its fans a chance to win a stunning Rosenthal Angled Wine Decanter valued over $100.00 from Allmodern.com (A CSN Store affiliate.)  In order to be entered into a drawing to win this beautiful gift, all we're asking is for you to follow us on Twitter and anyone who retweets Princeton Unbuttoned (any entries) between now and July 5th at 11:59 p.m., will be entered to win!  It's THAT simple!  Oh, and, the more you retweet, the better your chances at winning!!  (The winner will be announced and contacted July 6, 2010!)

So c'mon all you Tweebs, get Tweeting so you can set the mood, dim the lights, turn on some soft music and really impress your date with a great Pinot poured out of this exquisite piece! (See photo below.)  I know this wine lover would be impressed!

Question of the Day: You've finally gotten him/her to accept a date; on championship game day! Do you meet at sports bar or your home?


You've been working for months on nailing down a date with this person.  They're literally your ideal mate!  Finally he/she agrees to go out with you.  Only problem is, championship game day is their only availability.  How can it be?  Do you gamble for the game or the girl/guy?  Or do you hedge your bets and double down?  How do you play out your game day?  We know you want a home-run, but are you safer taking the chance of rescheduling the long awaited date so that you are free to act like a buffoon in the comfort of your own home without having to worry about making great impressions?  Or do you take the risk and venture out with your date to the local sports bar to share your spirited antics with a crowd?  Do you stay, split, hold 'em or fold?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Question of the Day: Do you feel your "deal breakers" change as you get older? Or are they pretty much set in stone?


Aside from the no-brainer rules such as violence, drug & alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, sex addiction, etc, I would definitely say that my deal breakers have evolved over time.  Before I was married, I guess I was too young and stupid to realize that being with an absolute slob meant it would bleed over into other areas in our relationship and lead to major problems.  I also placed too much value on potential income earnings and thought that someone who could provide well would lead to my happily-ever-after.  Don't get me wrong, money helps, but it certainly is not the be-all-end-all and relationships need much more sustenance to maintain themselves.  

Now as a divorced mother of two, I have a whole new set of standards and have surprised myself with things that are no longer a priority to me in a mate.  For example, I now know the importance of division of labor, emotional support, communication and shared interests and activities.  Sometimes, you just don't know what you don't know and you have to try out different things before you stop and realize, "Hey!  This really matters to me!"  But that's not to say the pendulum doesn't swing back sometimes and we find ourselves holding onto old "rules."  I guess the lesson is, life is a journey and as long as we stay true to ourselves and listen to our internal compasses, we will live in our truth.  And there's nothing more fulfilling than that!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Question of the Day: If any Disney character could come to life to sweep you off your feet, who would you choose? Why?




That's easy!  For me it's definitely "Beast" from "Beauty and the Beast."  Not only is it my all time favorite love story, but what a boon for Belle when in the end, this totally evolved being turns out to be HOT!  I mean, I love any man whose willing to learn lessons, grow as a person and become introspective, but then add sex appeal, charm and good looks to it?  Uhh...yeah...sign me up Walt baby!! 

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Question of the Day: What is a good hot weather daytime date?

 The beach is obvious.  The amusement park too crowded.  The movies are too dark.  So where are some cool, fun places to hang out with a date?  Small towns where you can window shop, stroll and eat ice cream are always nice.  Kayaking or canoeing with picnics packed are also options.  How about spontaneously stopping off the road at a local Farmer's Market and noshing on succulent watermelon?  Wine tasting at local vineyards?  Oh boy, it's summer time and the livin' is easy!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Question of the Day: What is the ONE thing you should never joke about with the opposite sex?


I onetime made a joke to a boyfriend about his future hair loss and let's just say...didn't go over so well.  I knew I'd made a huge faux pas when he got red in the face and became extremely irritable and barely spoke to me for the rest of the evening.  Whoopsie daisies!  I think balding and a paltry paycheck are the top two taboo topics to never joke about with guys.  I also find it really distasteful when they make passive aggressive remarks about how expensive something is that they're paying for (ie. dinner, movie, etc).  For women, well, that's easy, her weight!  My ex-husband used to think it was so funny when we'd be noshing on greasy junk food and he'd blurt out, "Don't chunk up on me!"  Wouldn't you agree that sometimes it's just better to bite your tongue than attempt to make your partner laugh?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Question the Day: What's the cheapest or tackiest thing you've seen on a date?

Oh the list of crazy stories I have for this one. I will never forget the time in my late 20's when I was dating a guy who made dinner for me at his place. After we finished and there was some leftover wine in our glasses, he literally poured the remains back into the original bottle! OMG!! What a tool! A friend of mine recently told me after her date at a nice Italian restaurant, the guy not only packed up the doggie bag with both their remaining portions, but made sure to horde every scrap of bread in the bread bowl too! Astonishing! And another friend told me once that when she invited a date over to her place to drink some wine and watch a movie, the loser showed up with a bottle only half full from the previous night! LMAO!! Omigod, I should write a book!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Question of the Day: You started dating someone, how much time is reasonable between leaving a message and getting a response?


This is an interesting suggested question from a fellow member.  Let's say you have been on a couple of dates with someone that you really like.  When you leave them a message and don't receive a response, at what point do you become concerned?  I tend to think, in general, that when you are someone's priority you know it.  Granted we live in a hectic time and people's schedules are crazy busy today; however, if there are valid reasons why a person doesn't get right back to you and they remain consistent in all other areas, it's all good.  Again, you just know when someone digs you and is going to be there for you.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Question of the day: Is it a complete insult or a partial compliment if someone propositions you at a bar?

 

So this past weekend I'm in Atlantic City, sitting at a bar people watching when lo and behold, I'm approached by an older gentleman.  As he engages me in idle chit-chat, he starts to move in closer and talk lower as he pans the room.  He then asks me, "Would you like some companionship tonight?"  Huh?  Small-town-chick-mom-of-two say what???  I asked him to clarify "companionship" so he asks, "What is your fee?"  Oh dear God!  I mean, I realize with a low cut top and tight jeans I'm not exactly dressed to go repent for my sins and take Holy Communion...but a hooker?  You have got to be kidding me?  A woman can't sit at a bar by herself without being mistaken as a prostitute?

Well, after opening a can on this guy, I immediately get on my phone and start vehemently tapping away on my keyboard proclaiming in self righteous texts what just happened to me, to all of my friends.  Most of them were as repulsed and pissed off as I was, but one said, "Hmmm.  If you were with a boyfriend, I wonder if he would be insulted or complimented?"  Things that make ya go hmmm?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Question of the Day: Who puts more emphasis on looks? Guys or girls?


I have this conversation at least twice a week, if not more.  I think you all would agree with me, that on average, it's the guys, right?  When I talk to single men about this topic, they say that personality is great and intelligence is a definite plus, BUT they have to get past the looks first in order to move forward.  I've said it before, I'll say it again:  ladies, when it comes to dating you have got to bring your A-game!  Men are quite simple and if you would like to date them, you must do everything you can to take care of yourself.  Go to the gym, get facials, have that Keratin treatment done on your hair you've been meaning to, use Crest Whitening Strips, dress appropriately for your body type and so on...

Look, I'm not saying that all guys are shallow, evil pigs and that you need to succumb to a plastic world that doesn't represent your inner-being.  But what I am saying is, feel your best!  After all, don't you notice that when you feel good about yourself and your appearance, you are happier and radiate that joy from the inside out?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Question of the Day: What is the worst or best nickname someone you dated made up for you?

Top 3 runner's up:  "Special K," "Cali Kari," "Babe-a-licious." 

All time #1 best:  "Saucy Sausalito." (In'it great??  If you know me, you know it fits perfectly!)

All-time worst:  "Frisco" (dunno...just didn't ring of romance to me!), "Sparky," and "Tiger."

Friday, June 18, 2010

Question of the Day: Do you think women are more attracted to masculine men during their "cycle" & then more into a "Mama's Boy" after ovulation?


LOL!!  This question cracks me up!  It was given to me last night during a "Question of the Day" activity at last night's co-hosted Catch A Rising Star and Princeton Elite Club event.  Ya gotta love the creativity of many PEC members.  Anyways, this one stood out in particlar because I know that there are all sorts of theories and studies out there on women, their cylces, pheromones and attraction.  I could definitely see some validity in this particular question and I'm sure, if it hasn't been done already, would make for a really interesting study.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Question of the Day: What cracks you up the most about the opposite sex?


Personally, I get the BIGGEST chuckle out of full grown men throwing complete hissy fits when their favorite sports teams lose!  Swear to God, it just warms the cockles of my heart to see a grown-ass man throwing himself into a fit of rage over something as minute as a sports team losing.  I mean c'mon...we aren't talking about the Middle East Peace Process here where human lives are at stake.  It shouldn't, but it cracks me up to think of an exboyfriend literally throwing over an ottoman when the 49'ers lost a playoff game back in the late 80's.  I remember staring at him in complete bewilderment (and truth be told, utter amusement) as he screamed expletives condeming Ronnie Lott and Bill Walsh to Hell!

I will never forget the time when my ex-husband and I went away to Spain one summer before we had kids.  We ended up in a small beach town on the southern tip, where there wasn't a whole lot to do but lounge around, take walks and watch T.V.  One morning as he was flipping through the channels he came across a professional Cricket game and said, "I have no idea what the deal is with Cricket?  I just don't get it; it's such a stupid sport!"  That night after dinner, we came back to our condo and with bellies full of amazing Spanish food, plopped ourselves onto the couch for, yet, some more boob-tube action. It wasn't too long before I decided to go to bed, but Hubby said he wasn't tired and wanted to stay up a bit longer. 

When I was getting ready for bed, I could hear the faint sounds of a Cricket game on T.V. and realized that he'd be coming to bed real soon because obviously there wasn't anything worthwhile on Television but that "stupid sport."  Once I hit the sheets, I immediately fell into a deep slumber only to be shockingly awoken 3 hours later, by my husband shouting something in what seemed to be alliance language for his newfound favorite Cricket team, "OH C'MON YOU GUYS!!!  WHAT'RE YOU DOING???"  Huh?  Color me surprised, but didn't this man just this morning make some holier than thou proclamation that Cricket was, in fact, a ridiculous sport that anyone with half a pulse shouldn't be caught dead watching?  How on Earth could he not only have formed some newfound allegiance to a random team to a proclaimed random sport, but also in the throes of a full fledged tantrum over their losing a play?

Well, if nothing else, that story made for some hilarious fodder for years to come.  Even though I'm not married to the guy anymore, it still gives me a chuckle to this very day.  What cracks me up the most about guys and their sports hystrionics is, the more humor you find in it and the more you chuckle, the more they realize how insane they're acting and sober up rather quickly.  Ahh guys and their sports!  Ya gotta love 'em for their "passion"!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Question of the Day: What are your thoughts on "Manscaping?"


A similar question was posed about this last year that, if memory serves correctly, in it I exercised the word "undercarriage."  Uh huh...oh yes I di't!  When it comes to grooming, it not only seems to be in vogue these days, but a requirement for women to...uh...shall we say..."Prune the hedges!"  However, do we hold men to the same standard?  Is it becoming just as fashionable for guys to "manscape" and keep up with grooming tasks as it is for women?  And if not, don't you think it should be?  I mean, afterall, us chicks go out of our way today to keep things manicured and well tended.  Don't you think it's high time guys respond in kind?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Question of the Day: If you found out your fiance "hooked up" at their bachelor party, would you still marry them?


Boy, this is a loo-loo isn't it?  Tough call for sure.  I think it's easy to say, "No way!"  "Never!"  "They made their bed, they now can lie in it," etc, but it's such a personal situation and definitely depends upon the couple, the circumstance and all of the details surrounding the evening.  I mean, bachelor parties are, for the love of God, meant to be filled with debauchery, over-indulgence and corruption.  If you think about it, it's a "set up" for the bethrothed when a night of carousing has been planned and yet he/she is "not allowed" to parktake in the festivities.

I think its perfectly okay when a couple separates and goes off for a night of depravity with their bff's before their nuptials, so long as they agree ahead of time, what behaviors are acceptable versus not.  The main question here, however is, would you go through with the wedding if your fiance breached an agreement while at their bachelor/bachelorette party.  You know, weddings, with all their pomp and circumstance, sure have a way of making people very forgiving.  Perhaps too much so because it's certainly easier to call of a big, long awaited "party" then it is to get divorced.  But again, a traditional night off sin has to be looked at differently unless, however, the infidelity has been a recurring issue in the relationship.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Question of the Day: What's the best thing someone has done for you to get themselves out of the doghouse?


It was 2 summers ago.  I was dating a gentleman who lived at the shore and worked in New York City.  I can't even remember why now, he was in the "doghouse," but no matter, he was!  I hadn't spoken to him for a day or so when lo' and behold, the doorbell rings.  When I open the front door I find a deliveryman holding a huge bouquet of flowers that literally takes my breath away.  It wasn't that this arrangement was the most beautiful or expensive I'd ever seen; it was the fact that it encapsulated my personality and was as though it was created specifically for me. This man got me!  When I opened the card, it read, "Meet me at the Grill tonight?  Regardless, I'll be waiting..."

Oh boy!  What to do?  This was the Mac' Daddy of grand gestures!  A bouquet tailor made just for me and a romantic tryst at the location of our first date.  Not only that, rolling the dice and driving all the way from New York City into Princeton at rush hour traffic time, in the hopes that I walk in and meet him?  Oh PUHLEEZE...what's a girl to do?  OF COURSE I showed up!  Yeah, so let that be a lesson guys...shock value's a definite PLUS and sure to do the trick just about every time!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Question of the Day: In an affair when one person is single and the other is in a relationship, is the single person "less guilty"?



My thoughts?  No!  If both parties have full knowledge that they are, in fact, having an affair, the single person is just as culpable as the other.  Some may say that the person committing the adultery is more guilty of wrongdoing, but c'mon, we're talking about consenting, privy adults here who know what they are doing!  Consider this, if you are single and having an affair with someone, you are fully aware that what you are doing is wrong because many things about the relationship must be kept secret.  And people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

As if that isn't enough, consider that, while you are involved with someone taken, others are working on blind faith in you.  Perhaps your children, work colleagues, family and clergy members.  Or worse, possibly even the spouse of your lover.  And I can't think of anything more duplicitous than that!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Question of the Day: How do you feel when your S/O has HOT friends of the opposite sex?

You're out dinner with your wonderful new significant other enjoying a nice, relaxing conversation when you hear their name called out from across the room.  Up walks this gorgeous creature who greets your partner in a long, warm embrace.  After you are introduced to Mr./Ms. Universe, they turn back to each other and chit-chat over surface topics for several more minutes.  Once the hottie pattottie exits stage left, your stunned, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look immediately alarms your partner who reassures you that this acquaintence was "just a friend" and that you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

So, my question is, when your mate has hot friends of the opposite sex, how do you feel?  Is it your nature to feel inferior, threatened or insecure when your S/O has gorgeous friends?  Or do you feel complimented and reassured because, my gosh, if they "hang out" with such 10's, that must mean you're one too?  Perhaps you feel a combination of both?  When, however, do friendships of the opposite sex with a partner cross the line?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Question of the Day: Have you ever been with someone who suffers from "Sexsomnia?"



According to Sexsomnia.info, "Sexsomnia is a newly identified and a rare medical condition where the sufferers engage in sexual behavior during their sleep. Sexsomnia is a discrete alternative of sleepwalking also known as sleep-sex that includes behaviors of sexual arousal with automatic activation (e.g. erection and orgasms.)" So THAT explains it! All those poor fella's I bitch slapped across the face at 2:00 a.m. I thought were just feeling randy; looks as though they had a legitimate medical explanation for their wandering body parts! My bad!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Question of the Day: You've been seeing someone who appears to be your IDEAL soul mate. Everything is perfect but the sex. What do you do?



Great looking - check! Sincere - check! Smart - check! Funny - check! Romantic - check! Intimacy - waah wah wah...

Oh no! You've finally found him/her! Everything on paper is outstanding. You've been dying to meet someone like this your entire life. After a long, romantic courtship you decide it's time to seal the deal and take the relationship to the next level. With baited anticipation, you hit the sheets only to discover everything was there but the big Oreo. No way?! How can this be? It's not possible! So you figure, perhaps it was just first time jitters that made the nookie not-so-hot and attempt it again; this time open mindedly convinced explosive pyrotechnics will abound. Hmph...crap! "You can't even give me a sparkler?" you think to yourself afterwards in your frustrated trance.

I hear this scenario from time to time from many people that I encounter. The results, overall, don't seem to fare too well when a relationship lacks a good sexual foundation. You can have the check-list of ideals in a mate, but nothing is more important than that emotional connectedness between a couple. No matter how you try, it's that all-too illusive chemistry piece of the pie that just can't seem to be manufactured. It's either there or its not.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Question of the Day: What was the best last minute date you ever went on?

I will never forget mine! It was Christmastime '08 and around 8:00 p.m. at night. My kids were off for the holiday break and we were preparing for our ritual bedtime routine. I was seeing a gentleman at the time who had been out Christmas shopping all day and he called me up to see what I was doing. I told him I was getting the kids ready for bed and just doing some last minute tidying.

He and I were in that giddy-I'm-dying-t0-see-you phase of our courtship, and so he said, "I need to come see you!" I was disappointed to tell him that it wasn't going to work because I had my kids, I looked a mess and it just wasnt a good time. After some thought, we both decided "Screw it! Life's short!" and he came over and waited outside in my driveway for me to settle the kids down and come out and see him. It was amazing!! Here I am in my bathrobe and flannel pajamas and he breaks out two champagne flutes and a bottle of my all time fav "Veuve Cliquot"! Omigosh, it was the best! Sitting there in my driveway, sipping amazing champagne while canoodling and listening to Christmas music.

But wait! It gets better! He reaches in the back and out of a shopping bag pulls a small wrapped box and says, "I got this today while I was shopping because it reminded me of you". I was so touched when I opened the package to see a little music box with an ice skating scene and, that when opened, played the song, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Sometimes it's those unplanned, spontaneous moments that are the most cherished! Wouldn't you agree?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Question of the Day: What's the creepiest thing you discovered about an ex or current S/O?

Yesterday while enjoying my regular breezy coffee jaunt to the local Wawa listening contentedly to my favorite morning talk show, I suddenly became completely horrified with the d.j.'s announcement! Wait! Did I hear that right? Did he really just admit that he found out his girlfriend had been collecting his toenail and hair clippings and saving them in a scrapbook to memorialize??!! I KNOW, right????? O-M-G! Callers, then, started phoning in about some of the creepy things they had discovered about ex-flames or current significant others. Man, there are some messed up fetishes out there people!

So, I started to speculate over my own dating past and, yeah, I too have seen and heard some nutty things. The craziest, for sure, was when I was propostioned by a guy who wanted me to be his girlfriend whom he claimed would be cherished, treated like a princess and her every wish would be his command. Sounds "normal" enough right? Well here's the punchline: all those things as promised above, but only if she agreed to go out and sleep around with other men! Uh huh...that's right. He said having a girlfriend who had sex with random men and came home to him at the end of the day, was a part of who he was. That he literally needed his girlfriends to be "slutty".

When he talked about his last girlfriend and some of the things they did together, I asked him what happened with the two of them and how come they weren't still together? He said she fell for one of her bedroom beefcakes and that's when problems began to arise in their relationship. Uh...yah?? So, basically his girlfriends have to have playmates just for the sex and are not aloud to fall in love. And that once feelings arise, that's when they need to be kicked to the curb. And here's more, he said it was important to him that she take his money and go spend it on her little studmuffins; take him out to nice dinners, buy him trinkets, take him shopping, etc. Further, he was in the process of buying a shore house so that his new future woman could take her boytoys to it for fun get-away weekend trysts! (I'll spare you with the details of his preferring her arrival home er...not so "fresh" afterwards...)

I know, totally baffling right? Would you believe it if I told you there is an actual term for such a phenomenon? And that there are websites and clubs formed specifically for these types of relationships? It's called a "Cuckold" and takes on many forms. The basic premise, however, is that the woman is free to have sexual encounters outside of the relationship while the man remains monogomous, and sometimes even celibate. Anyways, that's all I got in my boring little repetoire. Anyone else?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Question of the Day: When becoming serious with a partner, when or should you disclose previous marriages?

This question comes from a current Princeton Elite Club database member who recently discovered his fiance lied to him about her previous marriages. He was told he was becoming hubby #3, only to soon discover he was more in the ballpark of "Mr. 5th inning!" YIKES! Well, my theory is this: If she was willing to string him along and lie to him about how many strike-outs were called before him, what else was she omitting from the poor schmuck?

But then again, I'm an open book so maybe I'm too harsh a critic. I just feel that in order for a healthy relationship to sustain itself you need to be unabashedly yourself - warts and all. I think I have the opposite problem because I tend to just purge all my dirty laundry (well....not all) right from the get-go. I figure, I'm sane (relatively), lively, energetic and eager and, while Lord knows I have my skeletons, why not put it all out there and let my guy determine if I'm worth stickin' around for. And if my past mistakes were too much for him to handle....see ya! Don't want ya anyways.

This said, however, I am not justifying or even remotely suggesting a string of bad marriages and broken-off engagements. (God dawg, one marriage gone by the wayside and I can't even commit to lunch!) But, the question pertains to full disclosure in a relationship. If you build it on a false fundamental premise, it will inevitably tear at the fabric of the relationship. If you have a past you aren't proud of and made some serious mistakes in relationships, don't you think you owe it to your partner, and to yourself, to inveil necessary information about how you've handled other serious relationships? It doesn't mean you haven't changed or that you aren't willing to, but you certainly don't want a mate to commit to you by default. I wonder if Elizabeth Taylor would be rootin' for Team Ms. Fabrication?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Question of the Day: Do people really enjoy sex on the beach?

Call me crazy but I don't find this concept alluring one iota. Oh...okay, maybe if there was a romantic candlelit dinner and a dreamy four poster bed involved, but other than that....not my thing. The only time I ever did this, it was literally eons ago but I still have vivid memories of sand ending up in places I didn't even know I had. Not only that, did you know sand chaffes when two people grope and grind together? Yeouch! I literally had small, painful red welts all over my frontside for a good couple of weeks afterwards! And I swear to God, it was at least a month before I could no longer feel those tiny little grains in some crevice or cavity of my body. Nice in fantasy; not so much in reality!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Question of the Day: Why are some people "mate poachers"?

I think at some point we've all come across people in our lives who have a reputation for stealing other people's mates. It's common knowledge that most people find more value in something (or someone) when it's highly coveted; regardless of their interest in it. I just read a fascinating article on this topic that provided information supporting this theory. Apparently in a prominent and highly publicized study, researchers divided single women into two groups and showed them pictures of a hot guy. They told one group of women that he was single and the other he was in a relationship; then, they asked the women how likely they were to pursue him. Only when the woman believed he was committed to someone else did interest in the male subject skyrocket!

Interesting right? So what the heck gives? Is it that people in relationships have already proven their willingness to commit, which causes a major draw to single people? Perhaps its the possibility of landing him or her making them feel special and superior? Why do you think some people go after the taken ones?