Sunday, August 15, 2010

Question of the Day: If your significant other goes through a MAJOR change in appearance (weight, surgery, etc.) that you don't care for, what do you do?

When I was in my teens and early 20's, I was very curvaceous (okay, at times I was downright chubby!).  I met my soon-to-be husband while looking this way.  When we were engaged I got heavily into running and started doing lots of different races which ultimately motivated me to run a marathon.  My body was quickly changing and I was soon becoming rather fit.  

It really wasn't until after having two kids, that my body did the most morphing and I underwent my biggest physical transformation.  I am, I suppose, one of the rare women whose metabolism actually speeds up after childbirth.  After my second child was born, to keep active and busy, I started going to the gym everyday which eventually resulted in becoming a fitness and Spinning instructor (Gee, can you say, obsessive-type personality?).  

I grew my hair long, became a size 0-2 and literally looked like a different person from back in my youth.  Anyhoo, while I'm sure most husbands would relish this new version of me, mine wasn't a fan.  Not that he hated how I now looked, but it wasn't the girl he originally married.  Truth be told, I'm sure there was some insecurity on his part from potential wife poachers out there and a fear of losing me.  

I don't say all of this to brag, but more to make a point; because my husband preferred the more voluptuous Kari, my major physical transformation did have a negative impact on our relationship.  You see it all the time where, as new couples explore their new found comfort in having a mate, pack on the pounds as they experience new things together.  We like to say that we choose our mate's, not based on how they look, but because of who they are, but we all know it's physical attraction that first piques our interest.  

Ya gotta wonder with all of the new weight loss and plastic surgery procedures now being practiced, how this impacts the significant others of those looking at their "new" mates?  I admit I'd find it strange if I were, say Spencer Pratt and one day woke up next to the new Heidi.  Let's face it, there's more than meets the eye with such drastic measures and the mental issues and adjustments for both parties will inevitably rise to the surface.  IMHO.

1 comment:

  1. Really? your husband didn't like you losing weight and being more healthy? that's odd. But I have heard about husbands who aren't thrilled with their wife once she gets new boobs, has lipo, or whatever, just because they're not comfortable that the wife is doing so much to make herself more attractive. It's perceived as being an effort for the benefit of other guys. Especially if the husband protests that he liked her the way she was. If she goes ahead and does it anyway, then who is it for? Now, getting healthier and more fit wouldn't fall into that category, since obviously that has benefits for the woman herself which are obvious. On the flip side, ladies, if your man is suddenly doing everything to look better, losing weight, dressing sharply, getting his hair perfect, stops flatulating and starts working out ---> he's cheating on you. major sign.