I had a new client meeting last night at New Brunswick's posh restaurant "The Frog & The Peach" (LOVE that place!) and was inspired to pose this question when we had an interesting discussion about this topic. This particular client is a very successful doctor who owns several homes, goes on luxurious vacations, eats at the best restaurants in town, has yearly a membership to the theatre, etc.
As the interview proceeded, he told me that he prefers to be inconspicuous about his assets as he ventures into the "dating world". When I asked him why, he said because he would like for a woman to like him for him first. I understand his point, however, my response to him was that his wealth and success IS a part of him and that most women are attracted to successful, ambitious men. I'm sure I'll get a LOT of flack for saying this, but people like roles and it's not being a golddigger for a woman to enjoy a man of substance!
On the flip side, I've had female clients who've told me that they prefer to downplay their "assets" and beauty because too many men would just want to get them in the sack if they exploited their looks. Well, here we address the "roles" debate again...men are fairly simple, they like beauty! It's what they're attracted to and go off of initially. Honestly, would we have it ANY other way ladies? Would you really want a man who said to you, "Honey, it's okay, I don't care about your looks. It's what's on the inside that counts." Omigod, what does that say about you? Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of suitors who've just wanted me as an arm piece, but being single long enough, you learn to sniff out those shallow people from a mile away.
My advice? Be UNABASHEDLY yourself, trust your instincts and let nature take its course. Afterall, you would never want to look back at a failed relationship asking yourself, "Gosh, maybe it would have worked if I'd just been an open book and let them see all of me?"
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