Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Question of the Day: If your best friend who's single, moved across country, what advice would you give him/her for dating in their new city?
Today I have the privilege of being on my girlfriend's web show "Karith Foster: America's Girlfriend" where I will give dating advice and tips to Karith, who recently moved all the way from New York City to Los Angeles. Karith's move alone must've been traumatic enough in itself because, let's face it, comparing the two locales is like apples to oranges. The emotional toll on such a drastic move is one thing, but then sprinkling a dose of dating in a strange, new city, is an altogether different one.
Karith is known for poking fun at herself for being single and makes claims such as, "Apparently I'm always single!" and now she must face the new challenge of being unattached and exploring her singlehood in a brand new and unfamiliar city. When thinking about Karith's predicament, I imagine my life 10 years from now and as if it were my own daughter who found herself moving away to afar off place like, say Paris or Rome, and the advice I would possibly give to her about dating in her new city.
I could imagine saying, "Lilly, first and foremost, follow that undercurrent of excitement and adventure that drives you to explore your newfound place. Let go of any demands of finding your soul mate right now, and just focus on yourself and what you would like to see and accomplish while you are there. Go to museums, try new foods, meet new people, go online and find out the nighttime hotspots and allow yourself this time to be open and receptive to what comes your way."
Luckily, the invention of the Internet gives Karith a huge advantage for researching places, clubs, activities and local hotspots that appeal to her in L.A. Furthermore, the Web doesn’t just let her research the places she will go, but the people that she'll meet. I love online networking sites such as Meetup.com and Facebook, because they allow a person to meet and chat with potential neighbors that share similar interests, no matter where in the world they are.
The really awesome thing about coming to a new city is that you bring yourself along with you; and this time around you get to bring "the new you!" By that I mean, you get to choose the part of you that you want to join you in your new adventures while leaving behind the old you that engaged in unserving, bad habits. Dating in a new city, no doubt can be unsettling and daunting, but I would urge anybody to take their best with them, share it and live it out loud. Heck, you were bold enough to make this big move, so might as well go forward with gusto and not be afraid to be unabashedly your new and improved self!