Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Question of the Day: What do you think are the best/safest topics to discuss while on a first date?

Pulling from some of my own "first date" experiences, here are a few favorite conversation topics that my dates have posed in an effort to get to know me better and to help ease the tension. What I like so much about each subjects is, not only was it a great way to get me interested in him, but it showed a genuine interest in me as a person, which I can assure you, practically every woman enjoys.

  • "What kind of man/woman are you attracted to?" - Not only is this some very valuable information that you can glean from your date, I believe it also shows a huge sign of confidence to ask. It's basically a way to "qualify the buyer" and let's your date know that if you can't live up to their expectations, then perhaps they aren't the right person for you or vice versa. Once you know what kind of person they're attracted to and some of your own characteristics meet those requirements, you can then let those traits shine through as you get to know one another better.
  • Friends - Women love to talk about their girlfriends and from what I can tell, men enjoy it too. It's a fun and safe topic, so simply ask your date about their circle of friends. Talk about how they met, what they like to do when they hang out together, the good times they've had, places they have been, etc. The great thing about this topic is it shows you the type of person they are, by the friends that they surround themselves with. For example, guys, if a woman is going on ad naseum about her girlfriend's high drama-filled lives', chances are, she's coming with her own bag of theatrics that you may very well want to steer clear of.
  • Free Time - Asking your date what they enjoy doing in their free time is very important information to know to determine if you have any common interests. As I always say, birds of a feather flock together and truly compatible couples share similar interests.
  • Siblings - Most people have a brother or sister so this is a very neutral and interesting topic for discussion. I always enjoy when a man looks me in the eyes from across the table and asks me about my family or my relationship with my siblings. I feel it just shows such an earnest interest in me as a person and in what type of household I grew up. Your date will usually be willing and open to talk about their brother or sister, and even if it's not positive feedback, it will give you a lot more insight about your date, including their emotional availability.
  • Vacation or trips - In general, people like to talk about the places they have been and their travel experiences. It's always fun to talk about similar places the two of you have been or where you would like to go. I, personally, love when my dates get me to talk about the places I would like to visit. And what's really cool is when your date mentions some places you've been to as well, and you both can share your experiences. This usually ends up being a great compatibility test, I have found because when two people are as passionate about a destination, it creates sparks!

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