Thursday, May 13, 2010

Question of the Day: At a bar, party or event, what makes someone completely unapproachable?

Surprising as this may sound, I'm not very shy so there aren't too many things about a person that would make them unapproachable for me; however, I do have some major turn-off's that will stop me in my tracks and keep me stationed in my corner, hangin' out with my girlfriends! For starters, there's nothing more annoying than the sloppy drunk lounge lizard that's leering at anything in a skirt walking by. Ick! I'm also not apt walk up to anybody that feels he needs to be the life of the party amongst his work buddies by shouting, making lewd jokes and high-five'ing every joe-schmo that also knows the lyrics to "She Shook Me All Night Long."

As for women, whew, I've seen some big no-no's that are surefire ways to keep the guys repelled. My numero uno gripe is what I like to call, "Single & Spiteful Syndrome". Have you ever been out at a bar and seen a single woman who is clearly unhappy with herself and every utterance out of her mouth is a rude, mean or obnoxious attack about the people in the bar? And more times than not, it's other single women just like herself, who are her target! I want to scream at these ladies, "HONEY!! Guys can smell that nasty, angry attitude 1,000 miles away!! And guess what? It's a huge turnoff and if you don't adjust that temperament post haste, they will STAY AWAY as you angrily spiral further down into your negative singlehood hole!

I guess at the end of the day, you have to know why you are approaching someone in a social setting and, perhaps, where you might think it will lead. Sometimes we're in the mental mindframe that we just want to go out with our pals, kick up our heels and have a good time. In times like these, we're probably more inclined to approach people in a similar frame of mind that are also out on the town and having some lighthearted fun. At others, we may find that we're in a more seious or thoughtful mindset and looking for some deep, intellectually stimulating conversation. At these moments, we're probably feeling somwhat intense and more apt to approach someone that has, for example, a pensive look, a thoughtful gaze or a serious expression.

This really makes you think about the whole concept of the law of attraction and like attracting like. When I've had a long, intense day and I feel like just grabbing an appetizer and a glass of wine with a girlfriend, I will definitely attract or be attracted to a completely different person than say, when I'm in my party-like-a-rock-star mentality. Well, no matter your mindset, I speak to many people who have some definite dealbreakers when it comes to a person's "approachability" and what they will not entertain as far as striking up a conversation with a person. Do you know what yours' are?

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