Sunday, July 11, 2010

Question of the Day: Are old thought patterns or behaviors hindering your success in the dating world?

I hear the following all too often, "There are no good men out there!", "Where have all the nice women gone?", "All good men are either gay or married!", "I've seen what's out there and it's grim!"  If you have similar thoughts about your dating experiences, then let today's blog serve as your Dating Public Service Announcement, because I'm here to tell you different!  If you want to have better luck with dating, the very first thing that you must change is your "us against them" attitude! 

When I'm out with friends or speaking with clients, I often hear how people tend to hold onto past experiences and create grandiose stories about the opposite sex, making those thoughts a reality.  If you want to see changes in your romantic life, I implore you to distance yourself from anybody who encourages those negative thoughts because they are only hindering your emotional growth and development!  Even if personal experience has led you to believe that "all the good ones are taken" or what-have-you, never never never give up hope that your Mr. or Ms. Right is right around the corner! 

All you can do in this lifetime, regardless of the situation, is put yourself in a positive mindset in order to set yourself up for success and happiness.  The day you give up hope that "the one" just isn't out there for you, life has begun to pass you by.  With a limited amount of days left on this Earth, you do not have the time to waste sulking in your own self pity.  Afterall, to quote the enlightened Ms. Shirley McClaine, "Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."

Okay, I admit it, its easy to become discouraged when it comes to the dating world.  This is especially true when a relationship has ended that you were really hopeful would work out.  The first thought is often, "I'm never going to find anybody as good as them."  But honestly, if you think about it, until you met them, you didn't know a person like them existed.  It may feel like a huge stretch, especially if you're currently grieving, but its important to remember that there is someone better out there for you.  And by you disallowing that thought you are only resisting your own happiness.  So why not think positively about your future?  It doesn't cost you anything, people will enjoy being around you more and it sure feels a whole lot better!

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